


Stars in his Eyes, Stars on his Cheeks

by Yellow_Beacon



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Angst and Feels, Canon Compliant, Domestic Fluff, Idiots in Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Pining, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-30
Updated: 2020-06-30
Packaged: 2021-03-04 23:40:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,464
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25004809
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yellow_Beacon/pseuds/Yellow_Beacon
Summary: Chris was in deep trouble...First of all- he was in love, which was a sin of the highest order in itself, at least in his occupation.Second of all- the person he was in love with was also his best friend.Chris was in deep trouble- because he was in love with Felix.His group member- handpicked by himself when he saw the raw talent glimmer in his eyes.But most importantly, Chris was in deep trouble- because he wasn’t sure if Felix even remotely felt the same.- a drabble one-shot.
Relationships: Bang Chan/Lee Felix
Comments: 17
Kudos: 220





	Stars in his Eyes, Stars on his Cheeks

**Author's Note:**

> Omg!!! I'm so soft for these boys!!!! Aaaaah, this just grabbed a hold of me and wouldn't let go unless I wrote it, haha ♥ Kudos and comments are much appreciated, love you all ♥

Chris was in deep trouble.   
First of all- he was in love, which was a sin of the highest order in itself, at least in his occupation.   
Second of all- the person he was in love with was also his best friend.   
Someone who’d been there for him for years.   
Someone who’d cheered him on and held his hand through the darkest times of his career. Someone who had listened when he, even though he’d lived in Korea for nearly a decade by now, couldn’t explain what he felt without using words in English.   
Someone that was three years younger than him- the definition of kindness, of joy and family.  
  
Chris was in deep trouble- because he was in love with Felix.   
His group member- handpicked by himself when he saw the raw talent glimmer in his eyes.   
The potential in his singing and dancing.   
The charisma and charm he could show off- on stage, in interviews or when he talked to the other idols and staff of JYP.   
The way he’d grown into his own person, with a wholesome personality, so gifted and hardworking.   
Taking on every challenge with a smile.   
… Dear god above, Chris loved him so much it actually scared him.   
During the hardest moments when he felt that he couldn’t fully reach him, when all of them were just a mess.   
During their happiest moments when Felix seemed glued to him all the time.   
Talking to him, eating with him, presenting his tiny creations of food, and cooking with eyes that glimmered with hopefulness and flour that covered the sides of the black shirt he was wearing.   
Sleeping tucked neatly underneath his chin despite the warm summer weather outside… and Chris couldn’t complain… and he couldn’t say no- and he could feel how a part of him died and got resurrected every time Felix would thank him in their native language.   
For putting up with his demand of needing someone to cuddle when napping.   
For not saying anything when they woke up in a tangled mess of arms and legs, sweaty and nasty smelling.   
For Chris to keep quiet about the way he always, seemingly unknowing, left a small kiss on the older’s neck.   
But why would Chris complain about any of that, when he felt most at peace during those moments?   
When it felt like he could finally tell his own brain to just shut the fuck up, it actually listened for once and he could get enough hours to feel properly rested, holding Felix's small body close to his own.   
When everything else seemingly faded away and all that was left, echoing inside of his mind and soul, was the younger’s soft breathing against the crook of his neck and his pulse beating gently like a ticking clock, lulling Chris to sleep while he held his thumb over the younger’s wrist, counting them like one counts sheep.

Chris was in deep trouble.   
Not only because he was in love but because there was just something about Felix that sent his body flying and he could only sigh deeply because it felt like his dick had a life of its own.   
Moments passed more and more, especially now these past quarantined filled months, when he just couldn’t look away- no matter how hard he tried.   
Moments like early morning and they both just woke up, completely drenched in sweat despite the air con that had been installed just before summer and Chris should feel absolutely disgusted but Felix would smell so nice and feel so good stretched out beside him that it made him feel intoxicated.   
With his butt pressed hard against Chris’ crotch, perfectly embodied the tiny spoon position and the older would curse under his breath because he knew that he got a morning wood like a teenager who’d just learned how to masturbate.   
It was nasty and dirty, and he cursed himself again when Felix walked out of the shower, towel slipping around his waist while he dried his hair and put on coffee.   
Again when they had their regular two hours of dance practise, first thing when they’d arrived at the agency and Felix stretched his arms over his head, breathing deeply when the sockets in his arm popped and then leaned down without a care in the world, dipping _way too deep_ and stretching his thighs apart _way too far_ for Chris to be comfortable.   
Again when it was time for lunch and the younger _literally moaned_ and rolled his eyes when he placed the food in his mouth.   
Again when they got home and he switched clothes to the regular oversized-black-shirt-and-trackpants combo that he loved so much and Chris tried his very, _very_ best not to stare at the bulge in his pants, knowing perfectly well that the other wasn’t wearing anything underneath.   
By dinner, he felt like an exhausted mess, had gotten more random hard-ons than he could count and only needed a ten minute shower to cover up the tiny groans that accidentally slipped from his lips when he quickly jerked off, trying and trying again to imagine that his closed hand was anyone else’s- hell, even a pornstar would be better.   
But Felix still seemed to sneak his way into his mind, tip toeing until Chris couldn’t help it anymore and just gave up, sighing as his fantasy played up on his closed eyelids.   
Felix, with his small hand in a gentle grip around Chris’ leaking cock.   
Felix, who said his name in a hushed whisper while Chris’ mouth dropped when he rushed closer and closer to the finish line.  
Felix’s deep groan when he watched how Chris came all over his own hand and lower stomach…

Chris was in deep trouble because he wasn’t sure if Felix even remotely felt the same.   
They had been spending a lot of time together lately, whether it was work related or not and Chris had to admit that, even though it would exceed his wildest dreams, sometimes he swore he could see the familiar flame that he recognised in his own body- also flare up through the younger’s eyes.   
But then again, maybe Chris was just a body of comfort.  
Of warmth.   
Of familiarity.  
Of home.  
Of the brotherly bond of love he shared with everyone else.  
Maybe he just felt like he could trust the older and therefore slightly let go of the coiled-up tension he had in his body.  
Because there was a tension and it existed around all of them.  
Founded from living close to each other and from being up in each other’s business all the time. Elevated nearly constantly from anxiety, stress, pressure and without the means to just be left alone for a couple of minutes since they shared rooms with each other.  
It was tough, there was no denying that.   
But this is what they loved to do.  
What they wanted to do until they couldn’t physically do it anymore.  
Days passed quickly during their hectic schedule and Chris had been busy- busier than normal since the album they just released was the first studio length one.   
Jisung and Changbin had worked hard as well, of course and Chris had been thankful that he had such a good subunit, two talented people who helped him in every moment of the way forward- from making better decisions with their music, to just be there and supported him through the difficult decisions that only he, as their leader, could make.   
All of them had been there for him, really, all in their own way.  
There was no denying in that.  
But Felix- Felix, Felix, Felix.  
He had been Chris’ emotional support during the days when he doubted himself, when he didn’t see an end with a perfect album in sight, only the stress of putting the songs together, the strain that came with trying to finish the lyrics, the burden of getting an approval from their higher ups when it came to each song.   
He’d been there with him, helping the other two of the danceline with creating choreography for the music he’d made, helping him when it came to just being there.  
Like some kind of light in a dark tunnel.  
Chris wanted to laugh.  
It’s funny how everything worked out.  
He had everything he ever wanted.  
Love from friends and family.  
From fans from all around the world who cheered them on- cheered him on every time he turned on Vlive.   
A band of brotherhood, of a bond that he never thought he’d ever get in a group when boy after boy left the agency while he was still a trainee.  
Person after person that he’d gotten a connection with while being there for seven years.  
And then there he was- just a teenager, with dark brown wavy hair and eyes in a similar colour.  
Dressed in a red washed out shirt and a pair of black basketball shorts and gave the dance instructor a badly concealed, puzzled expression when he introduced Chris as their sunbaenim.   
The dance instructor had caught himself when he met Felix’s eyes and then explained shortly, “Your older brother who works here too” and Felix had looked even more puzzled.  
But Chris… Chris just inhaled deeply, in an awkward gasp when he heard the familiar English language, before shortening the distance between them in a few steps, extended his hand and Felix looked at him with a mixture of surprise and shock before he took his hand.  
“I’m Christopher, from Australia”  
And those brown eyes crinkled when the younger broke out in a bright smile.  
“Felix, from Australia”  
And Chris was trapped like a fish on a hook.   
Swallowed the bait completely and without regret when he met those eyes the next day, and the next, and the next.  
And Felix looked at him with the same gaze every time…   
With wonder, astonishment, and adoration… and Chris tried not to think about it.  
Tried to ignore the way his heart fluttered when weeks turned to months and months turned to years.  
Tried to ignore the way the younger grew up before him, from an awkward teenager who barely understood the language- to a young man who exceeded in everything he did so brilliantly that it caught him off guard at times.   
Not that it had ever been easily; no, not at all.  
And that might be why Chris had such an immense respect for him, because he’d worked so hard to be where he was right now, with them- his team, and with Chris- as an equal in so much.

'Fuck’ he sighed to himself when he looked back at the moments that had shaped them and made them grew as a group.  
He sat in his studio, more as an excuse to have a moment for himself and his thoughts than to actually work on something.   
It was late- the small digital clock on the screen in the corner of his laptop had passed 1 am and he was alone.  
Or well, so he thought- the knock on the door made him jump from surprise and he shouted out a broken “It’s open” before he combed a hand through his dirty hair, hoping that the one on the other side could forgive that he hadn’t taken a shower since they all came back from the latest showcase.  
A warm smile on a familiar figure made his heart skip though and he smiled back without hesitation, waving his hand as a silent ‘welcome in’  
“Hiyya” he said, and Felix combed a hand through the hair in the back of his neck when he sat down with a small huff in one of the black chairs.  
Damp hair clung to the sweat on his forehead, and his chest still constricted hard when he slumped down before snapping his head to the sides, stretched his arms over his head, and Chris cringed only slightly when popping noises followed.  
“Hiyya” Felix repeated and combed back his hair before he wiped away some sweat with the back of his hand,  
“Where have you been?” Chris asked while swinging his chair back and forth, watching the younger with an awkward admiration and hoped that the warm fuzzy feeling he felt in his chest didn’t show up too much in his face,  
“Working out. Why, did you miss me?” Felix asked casually while flapping his shirt to allow some air to flow between it and his chest.  
Chris didn’t glance at abs, or the way his frame was shaped.  
No way in hell.  
“I always do” Chris answered and pulled the younger towards him, “You’re my favourite little bro”   
“But hyung” Felix complained, voice muffled against Chris’ shirt, “I’m not little anymore”  
No, his Lixie wasn’t little anymore.  
He could feel it on the muscles that worked underneath the damp black oversized tee he wore.  
On the musky smell of the whole days old deodorant.  
On the expensive cologne sprayed on his neck.  
On the deep matured voice of his when he cleared his throat after Chris let him go.  
“But you’ll always be my-”  
“Chris” Felix interrupted.  
With no honorific that he always, so very politely, added.  
Without any forewarning whatsoever.  
Without any aggressiveness in his voice at all.  
Without being confrontational or hostile or rude.  
“Chris… I-” he started again.  
He waited, paused as if he wanted the older to scold him.  
To assert him.   
But Chris didn’t say anything.  
Because he was scared of what Felix would say.  
If he was simply tired of the way Chris acted around him.  
If he finally saw through the protective shell Chris had built around him when it came to his feelings.  
Felt his blood boil with pure panic when Felix didn’t say anything else and just stood up.  
“Come home tonight, please…” he begged and looked at the older with those eyes again.  
The same ones he used to have what back then what now felt like ages ago, when he tried to pick up what was said in Korean around him.  
Puzzled, sad, confused, hurt.  
“I’ll even bake those chocolate chip cookies you want so bad, first thing after I’ve showered, ok?” he tried to bait.  
And Chris swallowed it.  
Again.  
Like so many times before.  
As if he’d ever been able to say no to Felix anyway.  
“I will. Give me an hour” Chris answered, and Felix gave him another small smile before he disappeared from the doorframe and walked down the corridor outside.   
Chris spun back in his chair.  
Tried to not think about how shallow that smile of the other had looked.  
How it never reached his eyes.  
How it had never done that before. 

It was raining while he slowly jogged home and he was thankful that he’d brought an umbrella just in case.   
The apartment was silent and dark when he entered and he carefully kicked off his shoes and went to the bathroom connected to the bedroom he shared with Minho, Seungmin and Hyunjin since it was right next to the hallway.  
Washed his hands carefully before drying off some of the rain and sweat he’d gotten in his face from the jog before he walked out again, feet taking one step after another towards the kitchen.  
He’d smiled brightly when he smelled the cookies in the stairwell outside the apartment and the happiness bloomed even bigger when he saw that Felix was still awake.  
Sitting in one of the chairs at the small glazed in balcony in the far back, phone in one hand and cookie in the other.  
He was just about to take a bite of it when he noticed Chris and jumped up on his feet, nearly running up to him to prevent him from grabbing a cookie on the tray at the counter.  
“Wait” he exclaimed in a hurried, loud whisper, “come with me”  
He grabbed the tray, waved his hand for Chris to follow and walked them both out on the balcony again.  
The rain smattered happily against the roof and thanks to the summer season, it was already starting to get lighter outside.   
Felix put the tray on the table, gave Chris a small smile and then fished out a blindfold, Felix’s own that he usually wore to bed now since they slept through the morning, and Chris gave him a small questioning smile.  
“Bear with me, hyung. I want you to enjoy them without thinking too much of how they look”  
“But I already know how they look” Chris replied, completely at a loss of what was going on and Felix rolled his eyes,  
“Yeah, because I didn’t hear you coming home. Just… please?” he begged, and Chris had to bite down on the inside of his cheek to prevent himself from saying something else.  
Like an awkward ‘Yeah sure but only if I get a small kiss on the cheek first’ followed by an embarrassed laugh or even a full on ramble of ‘Yeah, and by the way; you look way too good for the time to be this late. Like you literally just got a shower. Your hair is poufy and slightly static from the lack of products and you look tired as hell but dear fucking god- you’re so beautiful its hurts’  
“Sure” he simply said instead and closed his eyes while Felix walked around him to fasten the blindfold.  
Maybe he felt his heart skip a beat when he tried to open his eyes again and was met by darkness, except a small gap of light right next to his nose.  
Maybe he felt a sharp sucked in feeling, like he was above a big drop in a rollercoaster when Felix carefully sat him down in the chair that he’d been sitting in.  
Maybe he felt his breath hitch when he heard how Felix grabbed a cookie from the tray, sat down himself and pulled the other cheap, plastic, garden chair close enough that their kneecaps rubbed together.  
“Say ah” Felix said with a voice that seemed even deeper now when he was so close, and Chris couldn’t see the wonderful person it was attached to.  
He opened his mouth non the less and carefully closed his lips around a pair of small short fingertips when the younger planted a bit of baked cookie dough in his mouth.  
“Be careful” Felix chuckled, “I still like to keep my fingers”  
“Sorry” Chris mumbled while he gently chewed the baked dough, “Did you make this from scratch?” he asked and Felix sighed deeply,  
“Uh- yeah… sorry if it isn’t good. I’ve never made soft cookies before and I just found a random recipe off the internet and-”  
“No-” Chris interrupted, “no, it’s good. It’s really good. Just like mom used to make them back home”  
“Oh” Chris had seen Felix blush enough times to know the tone of voice he used when he felt shy and proud and he could nearly see the colour his cheeks got dusted in the darkness from the blindfold.  
“Try this next” Felix continued, and Chris opened his mouth again.  
Chocolate.  
Felix had used real, proper chocolate as well, and he could taste from the angled edge, that he must’ve chopped it up himself as well.  
“Just what I was missing” Chris smiled and heard how Felix snorted out a gentle chuckle as well, “I hope you’re planning on giving me the whole cookie as well” Chris started and opened his mouth on cue when he heard how Felix shifted again,  
“Yep, here” Felix said, and Chris was home.  
Home with the familiar chocolate chip cookies.  
Home with Felix.   
Home with Felix in his family home.  
Home with- “and here” Felix continued when Chris had swallowed.  
Felix lips.   
Felix’s hands on his chest when he had to stabilise himself.  
Felix’s gentle gasp when Chris kissed him back.  
Felix’s sharp inhale of surprise when Chris lifted his hands to untie the blindfold over his eyes.  
Felix’s giggle against his lips when Chris pulled them apart, just to look into his eyes and make sure that he wasn’t dreaming.  
Felix’s deep, growling whimper when Chris pulled him into his lap.  
Chris’ heart beating like he’d just ran a marathon when Felix whispered out a hushed “I love you” in the air between them.  
Chris’ heart singing when he whispered back “I love you too”  
And he gently pulled them apart again, cupped the younger’s face in his hands and watched how Felix broke out in a smile that made his eyes crinkle when Chris stroked his thumbs down the freckles on his cheekbones.   
Slowly kissed his lips again and remembered back when they were teenagers.  
When he first fell in love with a boy; who had stars in his eyes, and stars on his cheeks.


End file.
